


Different Drum

by The_Magic_Lava_Lamp



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:12:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Lava_Lamp/pseuds/The_Magic_Lava_Lamp
Summary: Somebody’s going to California & somebody isn’t.





	Different Drum

“If this is over…you gotta tell me.” 

Richie’s voice was small and hoarse, the past twenty minutes of yelling was most likely the reason. Eddie rubbed his eyes, he was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of the day and tired of the weight in his chest. 

“I didn’t say I was ending this.” Eddie frowned, gesturing with heat and Richie liked his lips with a small nod. The air between them was both awkward and unhappy. It felt as if each of them was being smothered. 

“I know that. But, Eds, I can’t read your mind…and I can see you have something to say so just say it, ok? I can take it.” Richie pushed his glasses up his nose and for some reason, that statement infuriated Eddie. 

They stood across from each other in Eddie’s cold basement. Boxes of old clothes and neglected toys laid over the slightly dingy floor. Because the time had come to pack each man up for the next phase in their lives. Richie’s home had been an easy and unfulfilling trip. But like always, Eddie’s home seemed to bring out not only the worst in himself but Richie too. 

Outside, rain pelted against the windows and a storm was beginning to roll in. They could both hear the currently muffled rumblings of the thunder. The wind whistled, making Eddie’s ears ring. 

“Couples fight, Richie. I’m not gonna dump you just because we had a fight.” Eddie calmly explained, a pensive look on his face. “But I’m not sure what to do here-” He took in a small breath and waited, only Richie just stared back as if doing the same. 

And then he shrugged with a look that read ‘What do you want from me?’

“My God, Richie!” Eddie burst with frustration. “All I’m asking for is what the hell is going to happen to us after graduation?!” He reminded them both of the event that was in just a few days now. They’d successfully ignored it for a long time now but it was not going to work that way anymore. 

Richie opened his mouth but Eddie stopped him.

“Richie, you keep telling me the same Damn thing over and over. I can’t hear it again!” Eddie took another breath and sighed to speak more calmly. “You have to put real thought into this…I-I can’t go to California with you…I told you that. Can we go from there, please?” 

Richie was going to California after. Not even spending one more summer in Derry. His friends were torn up about it but everyone seemed to be moving on. Eddie himself thought New York would be his best option for school and living. But not if Richie had any say in it. 

Richie shoved his hands into his pockets. He’d been quite unreasonable lately. Eddie was right. He gave him the same answer to that question since they’d first had to discuss it. ‘It’ll all work out, Eds. Fate, as they say.’ And then he’d go on and on about California like he just assumed Eddie was going too. 

“Ok, look I don’t know.” Richie frowned, his throat starting to feel tight. “But the important thing is that we love each other and we wanna be with each other…so” He smiled and Eddie momentarily did too. 

“We do…but I can’t go with you. So is that gonna be enough though? Long distance…I don’t know how well I can handle that.” Eddie looked utterly panicked so Richie approached slowly as the thunder cracked outside. He always had an instinct in himself to comfort Eddie, even when the man didn’t need it. Today was no exception. 

“Y’know what I think? I think, we still have time to figure this out. This doesn’t have to be impending doom, babe. It’s the future we have together…I think it’s exciting.” Richie smiled and Eddie somehow only grew more irritated. 

“That’s the thing, Rich. We really don’t have time to put this off anymore.” He insisted and watched Richie’s face twist with annoyance. But Eddie wasn’t going to feel sorry about it. His boyfriend could not ignore the situation any longer. Which was the thing about Richie. Whenever something difficult to deal with popped up in their relationship, he deflected it. Eddie hadn’t realized until just now how much it bothered him. 

“Ok. You’re right. We don’t. So tell me what you want me to say.” Richie sighed and crossed his arms. He took a seat on the last stair that creaked from the old wood. 

“I can’t tell you what to say, Richie. Speak for you damn self.” He wanted to spit the words but he couldn’t seem to bare it. Instead they came out much softer but it hurt Richie all the same. They both remained silent for a long moment. Eyes lingering around every corner of the basement just to avoid looking at each other. Thinking about how it used to be. 

“Well, I’m going so…what does that mean for us?” Richie finally picked his chin up to look across the room where Eddie was still leaning against the wall. He was picking at the skin around his fingernails. “It’d be great for you to come with. You’d love it-” 

Eddie didn’t want to hear that whole routine again where Richie tried to get him into the idea of coming with him. It used to be endearing and sweet. It had made him feel loved. But now that he was growing and was making his own plans for life, it was hard to hear. 

“I think you wanna go to California with someone who doesn’t exist, Rich.” Eddie mumbled and Richie was hit with a wave of confusion. “You’ve been planning this move since you were a kid. You’ve built up this perfect picture of who’d come with you, be your road-trip and life partner.” Eddie’s voice was soft but shaky and it scared the hell out of Richie.

“And I don’t think that it’s me. I think when we started dating, you just assumed it would be but Rich. It’s not. I can’t go with you, it’s not where I’m supposed to go at this point in my life.” Eddie shrugged and Richie could not believe this would be the only time he found it hard to speak. He wanted so desperately to interrupt his boyfriend. “Do you ever think that maybe we were just compatible as kids but now that we’re getting older…we just don’t click the same?” 

Richie’s heart dropped because no, not once had he ever thought that. It partly made him so angry that Eddie had felt that way and never said anything. But it also fucking killed him to think he must have made Eddie that unhappy. 

Every morning that Richie woke up feeling loved, had Eddie woken up unfulfilled? 

“I’m not saying that to hurt you…I’m saying it because it hurts me.” Eddie began to slowly walk over and kneel before the man he treasured. Richie looked utterly pained, like it might have been better to just punch him in the stomach. It made Eddie feel terrible. He almost just wanted to escape before it could get any worse but he knew this was something he couldn’t ignore. 

The rain outside seemed to get heavy and fall harder. Normally that was unease the man but for some reason, it felt ok now. It had to fall in order to prepare for another summer’s promise of sweet sunshine. It was the season Eddie dreaded more and more. In it’s past, it brought joy and free time. Then it had gifted him fear and a fight for his life. And now it would mean graduation and the time to change. Which had to be good even though it hurt like hell most of the time. 

“So what? I’ve just been wasting your time?” Richie asked bitterly. 

“No, no. That’s not what I mean…I just think we’ve been rocky lately. And I think this is an opportunity to spend some time apart. To grow as individuals and maybe when we see each other again, we’ll click again.” Eddie nodded and took a hold of Richie’s hands. 

Richie wanted to argue but it became harder to when he realized he and Eddie had had it rough lately. It was no ones fault but it was true. “I knew you were going to end it. I knew it.” Richie shook his head and looked away, not wanted to shed the tears that were pooling in his eyes. 

“Well I didn’t.” Eddie mumbled, more to himself but Richie was close enough to hear it. “I didn’t think I would end things between us today. I thought we were gonna work something out and pack, I really did. But when we started talking…all my insecurities just came out…uninvited but true.” Eddie frowned deeply. His voice was so wobbly and shaky that it unsettled Richie. 

“Do you think I wanted to do this? Because I fucking didn’t.” Eddie suddenly stood and walked to the other side of the basement, rubbing his forehead with his palm. Richie felt a small sigh leave his lips as he opened his mouth to say something. “This is gonna suck, Rich. Being away from each other but you know what? We need it to happen. And I’ve said why. So we have to accept it. We’ll be better when we see each other again.” 

Richie didn’t know how everything had become so bad so fast…but he kind of did. He couldn’t say Eddie was completely wrong for this but he wanted him to be. They were two men on two different paths at this moment and time. 

“It’s time that we stop being Richie&Eddie and start being Richie…and Eddie.” Richie heard himself say and Eddie nodded, looking much happier now that Richie understood. 

“I don’t want us to drag each other down while we’re trying to live these life plans. We can’t be pulling the reins in on each other. It’s best we go through this phase in life in a free state.” Eddie walked back over and Richie stood. They stared at each other for a few moments before Eddie threw himself into Richie’s arms for a painful hug. 

“I’m gonna miss you, Eds.” 

“I’ll miss you too, Rich.” 

Eddie desperately missed the times when their biggest problems in life had been who was walking home from school with who, if he could copy Richie’s homework, if they were gonna go over to Bill’s house or play down by the barrens. 

But fuck, it could be worse. It could be the summer they were almost at deaths door.


End file.
